You know what really grinds my gears? When I was a kid, when were weren’t in school, we were all out playing in the neighborhood – weather permitting. Today you go into any neighborhood during school vacation and it’s like a freaking ghost town. Where are all the kids?
Now I get it that in large, Liberal run cities it is very dangerous to let kids go out alone. Some states actually have laws where you can’t even let kids under 12 go to the park alone. Hells bells! When I was as young as five, I just walked out the door to go play. All I had to do was make sure my mom knew I was going out and it was cool.
Here in Berlin, New Hampshire, it’s not very dangerous. It’s not a large city, and most households here own at least one gun. In the five years I’ve lived here we’ve had less than a half dozen murders, and only a dozen or so armed robberies. In a city like Boston, you get that much in just one weekend.
This is a pretty safe place to live and yet still no kids outside playing. Where are they? They are inside either staring at the idiot box or glued to their smartphones. When I was a kid we’d be outside playing games, building a treehouse. Well, we tried to build a treehouse, but it really didn’t turn out well. We also played football, right there on the street. I’m sure many of you did as well. Remember hearing someone shout, “CAR!”? Then we’d get out of its way and start the game again.
Yeah, good old street football. Our quarterback always liked to get down on one knee in the huddle and draw out his plays for us. He’d take things like bottlecaps, rocks, and other junk to represent the players.
He’d say stuff like, “Okay Mike. You’re the rock. Bobby, you’re the bottlecap.”
Bobby would say, “I don’t want to be the bottlecap. I want to be the piece of glass.”
Then Wayne our quarterback said, “Okay then. You’re the piece of glass.”
His instructions were things like, “Okay. Mike you go down to my house and wait in the living room. Bobby, you cut left behind the black Chevy. I’ll fake it to you.”
I was the fat kid they never wanted to throw it to. I would say, “What about me?”
He said, “You go down to that red light and wait.”
That’s what I did. They finished the game and three hours later I finally came back.
Wayne said, “Where have you been all this time?”
I replied, “You said to go down to that red light. Well, that red light was a bus going to Sea Brook Beach! I was lucky to get back as quickly as I did! BTW, I brought you some shells.”
I didn’t think that was funny, but they all had a good laugh.
That’s what really grinds my gears!
Stay safe and Hail Victory!
Dan Schneider
Deputy Chairman
American Nazi Party