Well, my computer is up and running again, and I was able to have it updated to Windows 11, so now I’m completely current – until next week when Bill Gates of Hell comes up with something new that we will have to pay him to stay current. I can’t stand that weaselly little creep.
We’re already half done the month and I’m still missing some dues from certain people (you know who you are). If you are having financial problems, please drop us an email and let us know. You don’t have to give all the personal details, just let us know you’re having a problem and we can work it out. Not paying won’t get you dropped, but not paying and not letting us know will. That reminds me. If anyone is considering dropping out, well, we hate to see you go, but it is your decision. However, we would appreciate that you send us a resignation note. It doesn’t have to be fancy. Just say, “As of such and such a date, I resign from the ANP.” It would be nice if you let us know why, but you don’t have to. Some kind of resignation note is just common courtesy. We hate it when people just fade away. We really do wonder what happened to them.
Now that I’ve gotten the serious stuff out of the way, I’d like to revive an old feature I did when my blog was still up. It’s a little thing whose title I borrowed from Family Guy: What Really Grinds My Gears. I got a lot of positive feedback from people who said they looked forward to Wednesdays so they could read some crazy stuff from me. I won’t be doing it often, just every now and again.
You know what really grinds my gears? It’s taking small children to restaurants. An old girlfriend of mine from California had a couple of kids – both under ten. Sometimes we couldn’t get a babysitter and had to bring them along. That was a trying experience.
The first thing I want to advise young parents is if you have to bring your kids to a restaurant is TELL THE WAITER: NO WATER! While they’re waiting for their food there are fantastic things kids can do with water, and sooner or later you’ll hear a CLONK! Then you’ll feel that cold wetness moving along your thigh. So no water.
If anyone has taken small kids to a restaurant, at some point you’re going to be seeing their little heads waggling back and forth. You wonder what’s causing that until you lift up the table cloth and see their legs swinging back and forth, back and forth. One them is always kicking the pole. BONK! BONK! BONK! That’s when Lisa would turn to me and say, “Tell them to be quiet!” That’s when I would say, “Hey, they’re your kids so YOU tell them!”
When the waiter came to take our order, Lisa and I would order and we wouldn’t feed the kids. Hey, for the kind of money a restaurant charges I’m not going to sit there and watch some kid mutilate a perfectly good piece of meat. I’m not going to watch him swirl it around, spill it on the floor, pick it up and whine, “I don’t want anymore!” So we just don’t order them anything. Maybe a Coke just to keep them busy.
Let me tell you, we didn’t hurry either. When our food came we ate in a normal manner. Sometimes we had dessert, sometimes we didn’t. When we finished, we got up, left a tip, paid the check, then we put them in the car and took them to McDonald’s. Why not? Kids don’t want a steak, potato, and veggie. They want a Happy Meal! We ate first so we could threaten them with not going to McDonald’s if they misbehaved. If we fed them first we’d have nothing to hold over their heads.
I hope you learned something, stay safe, and Hail Victory!
Dan Schneider
Deputy Chairman
American Nazi Party